I Am A Bad Officer

I am a Bad Officer.

I ask my Boys to be punctual, but I am late in submitting forms, attending meetings or going for Parade.

I demand that my Boys perform drill with perfect synchronicity and smartness, but I can’t even lift my legs and raise my arms at 90-degree angles.

I question my Boys’ commitment when they are not wholeheartedly volunteering for responsibilities, while I shy away from BB commitments in church as well as State and National levels.

I tell my Boys to “work for the whole BB” because “we are all Brothers,” but I encourage unhealthy competition and am concerned only for my own Company.

I motivate my Boys to be selfless, but I have my own personal agendas.

I tell my Boys that we must be willing to give up things “for the sake of the BB” as long as I not asked to give up my time, money or energy.

I wax lyrical about BB Unity, but I really want uniformity… according to me.

I want my Boys think about “BB… BB… BB” but I am only thinking about “me… me… me…”

I expect my Boys to handle stress well (especially during NCO Training School!), but I snap at others when I’m driving on the road or having a bad day.

I encourage my Boys to be tough and to persevere through tough times – but when the going gets tough for me (whether due to work, home or whatever reasons), I’m gone.

I can’t stand Boys who give excuses for skipping BB when, in fact, they are just lazy… but it’s okay if I’m feeling “too tired” to go to BB myself.

I say that attendance in all programmes is compulsory, but it does not really apply to me.

I wonder why my Boys are absent from Company meetings, but never consider that my Boys may be wondering why I am absent from Company meetings.

I always say that BB emphasizes the health of a Boy, but hope Boys do not see me smoking.

I punish my Boys whose uniforms are not polished or well-maintained, as long as no one needs to inspect me.

When I put on my uniform, I also put on my ego.

I tell those younger than me to be open to new ideas, but I am set in my ways.

I think my Boys don’t know anything and I think I know everything.

I yell at Boys for their wrong attitude, behavior or mindset… never thinking that they might have learned it from my attitude, behavior or mindset.

I am quizzical as to why Boys don’t seem to learn anything during Bible Study, as I continue to prepare them only 30 minutes before I am supposed to teach.

I wonder why my Boys aren’t interested in the Bible… but I don’t attend any Bible Studies or read the Bible regularly myself.

I wished my Boys would go to church more… once a month, just like me.

On Saturdays and Sundays, during Parade, I talk a lot about Jesus Christ. But during the week, at work, my colleagues love to hear my dirty jokes from my potty mouth.

I say that Jesus Christ is the most important Person to me, that He is my Captain… but at work, I I’m really worshipping money, status and power.

I always recite The Lord’s Prayer during Bible Study, but at other times, the only times I pray is when I whisper a rushed “ThankyougodforthisfoodAmen.”

I expect to be obeyed, but I don’t inspire them by my example.

With me, it’s usually “Do as I say” not “Do as I do.”

When I read articles like this, I immediately think of how it applies to others… but not me.

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do… What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7:15 & 24-25, New International Version)

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23-24, New International Version)

“Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.” (I Timothy 1:15, New International Version)

Without God’s love, help and mercy; without the grace freely available through Jesus Christ; and without the Holy Spirit’s continued redemptive work in his life, I would remain a Bad Officer with the 1st Kuala Lumpur Boys Brigade Company.